10 Sep The Morning I Lost Her It has been said time and time again that one must live their life to the fullest becaus

The Morning I Lost Her

It has been said time and time again that one must live their life to the fullest because you never know which day will be your last. It was the morning of September 6, 2014 that this became clear. The number sequence “09/06/14” will forever be embedded in my head to remind me of how fast things can change.

As my eyes flicker open to the warm, bright sun, I stretch my arms and legs as I reach to hit my 9am alarm. After turning off the radio station, I reach to grab my phone when I realize it is missing off my nightstand. I thought for a second and tried to remember if I even plugged it in. Angered, I stormed over to my brother’s room to ask him for it back. As I turn left out my door, I see him walking towards me as he asks me, “Hey did you take my phone?” Confused, we both decided to go ask my dad if he took them. It was at this moment we both had a horrible gut feeling, almost as if someone just dropped a bowling ball right onto our stomachs. The feeling of my stomach twist and turn as my heart raced is a feeling I will never forget.

Looking back four years prior, I could not take my mind off how my Mom had been in and out of the hospital. It was in 2010 when the doctors had diagnosed my mother with a disease called hemochromatosis. This particular disease leaves the body with an inability to break down any iron causing buildups in both joints and the liver. This disease can be particularly dangerous to certain people and cause extreme pain at all times of the day. For four years I watched my mom fight this disease, constantly being admitted into the hospital for tests and blood work. Nobody deserves to suffer this much and all I ever wanted to do was take the pain off her shoulders for just a moment. Her body entered a downhill tumble, slowly getting worse and worse over time, until she was admitted into the hospital one last time as she slipped into a coma. She was near her end.

As I walk down the stairs, I cannot take my mind off her and if she is ok. I had a feeling that something from my life was missing. As I take a right to go down the stairs, I can’t hear anyone, making me question if someone is even home. As I turn the corner and look down the stairs, I see my dad standing at the bottom. I focus in on my father’s face to notice a look of complete despair. The look on his face was so empty and lost, yet, appeared he was holding everything back with all his will. As me and my brother get to the bottom of the stairs everything became clear, from the missing phones to the look on my dad’s face, we both knew exactly what happened. My dad let out a subtle “I’m sorry boys,” and grabbed the both of us as tightly as he could.

It was at this point in my life that everything was altered, however, it was not for the worst. Instead of letting this eat me up and spiraling into a dark path, I used it as an excuse to excel and become stronger. I went back to school a day after and worked harder than I was before in order to be the person she would’ve wanted me to be. She didn’t want me to mourn, but rather, use it as motivation to become a better person. This is where the saying, “Live everyday like it’s your last,” became so evident. From this I learned to grasp every moment and appreciate as much as I could. Life is too short to dwell on the past, so instead, I learned to brush off the little things and take in all the positives. Life can be stripped out of your hands in a matter of seconds, so why would I waste my time stressing about drama with friends or holding grudges. Settle what needs to be settled and move on. Do not look at the past as if it is the present. What happened has already happened, so, right your wrongs and get moving onto working towards your end goal: Living the life you want to live.