19 Sep COUNSELOR: So, hello. My name is Nina and I’m going to be your counselor for today. Your name is Tiffany, I believe. Is that what you prefer to be called? [CLIENT: Yes.]

COUNSELOR:   So, hello. My name is Nina and I’m going   to be your counselor for today. Your name is Tiffany, I believe. Is that what   you prefer to be called? [CLIENT: Yes.] Okay I need to tell you something   before we start, that everything – well, not everything that stays between us   but most everything that stays – that you tell me will stay between us except   in the case of if you say that you might harm yourself or harm someone else.   [13:41:58] And in the case where you mention to me in the state of   Washington, this is a rule that if there’s someone who is elderly who’s being   abused, a child who is being abused or someone who is disabled being abused.   If you tell me about that, then I will have to do something to make sure that   that person is safe. And it might involve breaking confidentiality. Do you   have any questions about that?

 

CLIENT:   Just one. How old is “elderly”?

 

COUNSELOR:   I believe that you have to be over the age   of 70. Okay? Anything else? [CLIENT: No.] So, Tiffany, what brings you in to   see me today?

 

CLIENT: I hate my neighbor.

 

COUNSELOR:   You hate your neighbor.

 

CLIENT: I hate my neighbor.

 

COUNSELOR: Can you tell me more about that?

 

CLIENT:   She’s really annoying and she does things   to make me mad and I don’t like her at all. And I think really mean stuff   about her sometimes. But she’s not 70.

 

QUESTION: The counselor says, “Can   you tell me more about that?” This is a closed question. Give an example of   an open question that the counselor could have asked.

 

Provide your example of an alternative   open question here: 

 

COUNSELOR: And do you hurt her?

 

CLIENT:   I don’t but I think about it.

 

COUNSELOR: That wouldn’t be an issue if you’re not actually hurting her. So   we could talk about you know how you feel about your neighbor, that’s okay.   So how long has she been your neighbor?

 

CLIENT:   Six months, three days.

 

COUNSELOR: Hmm. So, I get the feeling that you don’t feel comfortable about   hating your neighbor and that’s why you bring this subject up into   counseling.

 

CLIENT: I don’t want to hate anybody. But I have more headaches now. And   I don’t want to go in the hallway in the apartment building because I might   see her and we argue a lot. I just hate her. I want her to move.

 

COUNSELOR: So if – hang on a minute. [TO FACILITATOR] Can I ask you for   something?

 

FACILITATOR: Sure.

 

QUESTION: The client has shared a lot   of information and emotion. The counselor chose to ask a question and did not   acknowledge the feelings that had been expressed. In the space provided,   write a response that demonstrates reflection of feeling/empathy.

 

Provide your empathic response here:

 

COUNSELOR: I feel a little stuck. Like I don’t know what to say.

 

FACILITATOR: Okay.   So what are you thinking at this moment? Where are you at in your head? What?

 

COUNSELOR: I’m thinking about what I’m supposed to do. So I need to think   about her. Okay. Okay and I need to calm down really, okay.

 

FACILITATOR:   Sure, yeah. Sometimes our own anxiety can   get in the way with connecting-

 

COUNSELOR: I think I need to take a break. Can I ask for some help?

 

FACILITATOR:   Sure.

 

COUNSELOR: Okay. I’m kinda stuck. I don’t know what to do.

 

FACILITATOR:   Okay, so tell me what you’re thinking, what’s   your thought process with Tiffany at the moment?

 

COUNSELOR: Probably not thinking about Tiffany but thinking about what am I   supposed to do.

 

FACILITATOR: Sure and that yeah, this is a little anxiety provoking,   absolutely. So that can get in the way of being genuine and present with your   client. So work on connecting with her, empathizing with her in her being   upset and angry at her neighbor but yet not wanting to be the person that is   an angry person and dislikes other people. So maybe look into exploring a   little bit about that with her. Is there any question that you’re thinking of   that you’re holding back?

 

COUNSELOR: Yeah. I’ll ask her that.

 

FACILITATOR: Okay, okay. Sure.

 

COUNSELOR:   Thank you. 

So, Tiffany, why are you mad at her? What   is it that you don’t like? What happened?

 

CLIENT:   She is loud and she’s sloppy and leaves   things in the hallway. There are two units in each hallway. There are three   levels in the building so there’s six total units. And she leaves her stuff   out like the hallway is her apartment, too. And it is like gross stuff she   leaves like her garbage and like personal items. And I don’t want that   around. So one day, I was nice enough to pile it up by her door and she let   me have it. And it has been horrible ever since then.

 

COUNSELOR:   How did you feel when she let you have it?

 

CLIENT: I was embarrassed at first and then I was really mad that she was   making all this noise outside of the apartment. My child was inside my   apartment. And I don’t want her to hear all that drama. So I just want her to   move away.

 

COUNSELOR:   So you became really uncomfortable after   that event and ever since then. And that was a while back and now you say you   hate your neighbor. [CLIENT: I hate her.] And you want her to move away.