"Who Can Be an Effective Helper?

Questioning whether you are really cut out for a job is to be expected when you enter a new

field. Are you like the professionals you know? What must you know, and what abilities must

you possess going in? Although there is no single personality configuration that defines the

perfect helper, various writers have looked at specific traits that lead to effective helping. They

have also looked at the beliefs and attitudes most conducive to learning and working in the

profession. Knowing more about these may help you because many of these qualities can be

acquired.

The writings of 15 different authors describe 55 characteristics, attitudes, and beliefs of

effective helpers. In this section, I have tried to consolidate these into five key elements

(Combs, Avila, & Purkey, 1971; Corey, Corey, & Corey, 2019; Gladding, 2018; Kottler, 2012;

McConnaughy, 1987; Patterson & Eisenberg, 1983; Spurling & Dryden, 1989; Truax & Carkhuff,

1967).

First, an effective helper has a positive, accepting view of other people. That means embracing

people who are different from the helper and not being judgmental about other people’s

lifestyles, values, cultures, and religions. The effective helper believes that people have the

desire to change. Most importantly, the helper must be able to communicate this genuine

nonjudgmental attitude as well as warmth and caring.

Second, the effective helper has good self-esteem and is a secure and mentally healthy person.

Learning to be a helper because of a personal mental disorder is not the correct motivation, nor

should it be a way to experience power over others or to feel superior to those with more

serious problems. Does this mean that if you have a serious mental disorder, you should not be

a professional helper? I think the answer is yes. Although the process of recovery may intrigue

the recovering alcoholic or addict, recovery is not the only credential one needs. Addicted

clients need to be well beyond the thrall of their addictions before becoming counselors.

Similarly, individuals who have received help themselves may be attracted to the field that

helped them so much. Yet before entering the field of professional helping, you should evaluate

your own mental health and stamina and get a second opinion from a professional. Effective

helpers appreciate their strengths but know their limitations, too. They can examine

themselves critically. They have the courage to look at themselves under a microscope and can

separate helping the client from boosting the ego of the helper. They make reflection and

personal growth part of their lifestyle. They seek help when their personal issues intrude.

Third, most writers agree that the effective helper has good self-care skills. Many who are

attracted to this profession want to help others but soon find that doing so can be depleting. It

is easy to become emotionally “bankrupt” and “burned out” if one does not develop techniques

for stress management, time management, relaxation, leisure, and personal self-renewal. The

effective helper has a stable and fulfilling personal life with close family and friends to provide

support as a buffer to the stress of helping. You must be able to bounce back from the demands

of helping to be resilient. The effective helper understands the importance of wellness in a

demanding career. Now is the time to develop a wellness plan that includes your goals to

maintain physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual wellness (see Granello & Young, 2019).

Fourth, the effective helper is both creative and intellectually competent, a Renaissance person

who appreciates both the science and the art of helping. The effective helper has specialized

knowledge of human relationships, human motivation, and human development and

understands how to create change. Those who remain vital in the profession have an

“insatiable curiosity” to learn and grow in their skills and knowledge (Spurling & Dryden, 1989);

they are lifelong learners. Creativity and flexibility are equally important. Helping requires one

to devise innovative ideas with different clients in different situations. A helper must be able to

deal flexibly with ambivalence, unfinished business, and moral dilemmas. This means allowing

clients to work through difficult situations without pushing them to premature decisions.

J. L. Moreno, the founder of psychodrama, was once asked what the most necessary quality

was for a group leader; his unexpected response was “courage.” This fifth characteristic of an

effective helper has two facets: First, the helper must be able to listen unflinchingly to stories of

great pain. Like a physician who sets a broken arm, you must be able to look with a detached

eye at human destruction and see where the healing can be started. Second, the helper’s job

requires risk taking and action, without the security offered by other sciences. Individuals who

believe that they can control every circumstance and that there is a procedure and a solution

for every crisis have a difficult time as helpers. For example, no psychological test can

accurately predict a person’s tendency to be violent toward themselves or others. Helpers’

decisions must be based on experience, training, and even intuition. Because human behavior is

relatively unpredictable, effective helpers must have the courage to help even in situations of

uncertainty.

What Can You Bring to a Client?

Although the preceding list identifies some basic characteristics of effective helpers, no one set of

personal qualities defines the ideal helping professional. There is room for many types of individuals,

each of whom brings significant strengths and unique limitations. The example of a former student may

help to illustrate this. Maria, a graduate student, got under my skin sometimes because she had little

patience for long theoretical discussions and did not like studying anything that did not have immediate

application. She seemed to roll her eyes when the discussion became too intellectual. She was practical

and concrete and liked people who were “down to earth.” She wanted to solve problems and make a

difference in the lives of children. It seemed to me that sometimes she tended to be too quick to come

to closure with adult clients when they became stuck or were indecisive. Sometimes she pushed them to

make decisions and seemed insensitive to their turmoil.

However, Maria now works effectively as a school counselor. Her strength is that she knows how to

manage crises. She instantly grasps what needs to be done and takes bold and concrete steps to

accomplish it. She has excellent judgment and is indispensable to her school because she takes quick

action and exudes calm and poise in times of confusion. Maria’s case illustrates that each of us brings

strengths to the helping role. Much depends on knowing our own abilities and finding an environment

where they can be put to good use.

As you consider the characteristics of effective helpers that we have identified, remember two things.

First, many of the characteristics can be developed. They are not necessarily inborn. Second, each

person brings unique characteristics to the helping profession, and as in Maria’s case, the challenge is to

find a place where these gifts will help others. Do not look at the characteristics of effective helpers to

find what you are missing. Helpers should not be clones. Build on your own strengths and add new skills

as you go along.

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